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He Loves Me – He Loves Me Not. Psychology of a Man in Love

he loves me or not


All women want to be loved. And they want a man not just take fancy in them, but they want the man’s true love. And everyone of us dreams about such a love, that was described by Mikhail Bulgakov in his novel “Master and Margarita”. If to be particular, we dream about “Love leaped up out at us like a murderer jumping out of a dark alley. It shocked us both–the shock of a stroke of lightning, the shock of a flick-knife” And that is all. And between them everything is simple and clear, and there is nothing left for the two lovers except to enjoy their happiness.

However, in real life such things happen very rarely. Very often it happens so that a long time goes by since the first meeting, but there are no signs of the true men’s love. Of course, he can tell his girlfriend sweet words, give her flowers, be very gentle in bed, call her regularly and so on. And that is all. There is nothing else. And the woman in love starts to find out the answer to the question: “How does he really feel about me?”

There is no use asking the man in that case. The representatives of the stronger sex answer that question with all the sincerity only sometimes. And this happens so not because all of them are pathological liars. This happens because men’s psychology in love differs from the one of women, therefore peculiarities of the behavior of a man in love are those that saying sincere words isn’t that easy for them. For some of them it is even easier to say a lie than to tell the truth about their feelings.

man in love

What should a woman do then? Should she hope month by month that her lover’s feelings are for serious? And what if these relationships are lipdeep? Should she breakup with him? And what if he has real feelings for her but keeps silence because of the psychology of men in love? Dilemma. And time goes by, a woman is getting more and more attached to her beloved and the issue of the seriousness of their relations becomes more and more like a torture. What if this is just for a while, and one day he won’t come, won’t call, and then he will disappear forever? Who know how to get to the bottom of that very men in love psychology? And on the wholes he would insiston the sincere  answer. But she is afraid to scare him away with her persistence… What should she do? The answer is simple. Actually, there many signs of men’s love and, if you notice the min the men’s behaviour, you may relatively calm – he loves you indeed. But before that, of course, one must know what are the peculiarities in the behaviour of the man that is truly in love.

How Does a Man’s Love Show Itself?

In the subtle art of relationships, there is no doubt, women are considered to be past masters – they are unpredictable, mysterious, and very often their behavior defies any logical analysis. So there is an opinion that men in this sphere are much more understandable, and that there is nothing difficult in men in love psychology and that their behavior has no secrets for women.

Actually, this is far from being true. On the contrary, there are many things in men in love psychology, that aren’t clear even for the specialists in that question. Some of the representatives of the stronger sex having fallen deeply in love, goes mad begins to follow his beloved by her every step, and sings serenades to her, give her expensive presents… And some time later he becomes completely indifferent to his former passion, paying no attention to it. Others having fallen in love starts to keep a low profile and treats his beloved woman with precaution, taking pains to look scornful or distracted. And such a situation when neither a gesture nor any word gives him away can last for several years.

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Both the first and these types of behavior can be signs of the true love of a man to a woman, but on the other hand these can be signs of taking fancy in her though it may take place for a rather long time, but still taking fancy. In one word, if men were really predictable, women wouldn’t suffer from doubt and lack of assurance, not knowing how to interpret men in love psychology.

Some decades ago one of the most important arguments proving the true love of a man to a woman was meeting his parents.  The whole ceremony of the meeting itself was thought to be a small step to the door of their own house and to the start of their family life.


But time goes by, everything is changing. Our parents aren’t that crusty conservators any more, they are no longer surprised by the freedom of relationships between a man and a woman. Forward-minded fathers and mothers nowadays are relatively calm to the fact that even during a short period of time their daughter may have several potential husbands, and their son has “the only one, a true beloved.”

men love

Moreover, over the coarse of time the age of moving in to adult hood of men has increased. If earlier men who have done their service in the army were already real men, who were ready to build up families and to bring up children, then, nowadays, young men before their thirties all considered to be youngsters, who are not in a hurry to have children consciously.And here those signs of men’s love such as meeting his mother play no role at all. Because it’s not actually his own wish but his mother’s: she wants to know whom her son is dating in order to calm down or, on the contrary, to become upset and to talk her son out of committing a rush act.

How should we find out whether he loves or loves not? How does men’s love psychology show itself in real life? Some women think that in order to find it out you may touch upon the topic about how many children they are going to have in future and how they would call them. If a man supports such a talk, a woman make the conclusion that he is interested in it and he dreams about them living together too. However, this isn’t a proof of true men’s love – sometimes talks remain just talks forever. And a woman might not have a thought that a man doesn’t interrupt her and supports the topic only in order to preserve his own piece.

Conclusion: doubts, doubts, doubts again. “How can men’s love show itself at least in something?!”-desperately we may say! Yes, he brings us flowers and gives us different things, yes, he introduced us to his parents, yeas, he speaks about our children and he even claims that he loves us! But that’s where it all ends! Time goes by and nothing is changing. Your friends begin to laugh impishly and give you examples of men breaking-up with their girlfriends after long-term relationships.  What should we do, what should we do?! How to find those features of a man in love in our man, if he is really in love?

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Let’s calm down. There are signs of men’s true love, and they are quite obvious. We just haven’t paid our attention to them because we didn’t know that they are the signs that show us our beloved has serious intentions. So, what are they, those signs?

Signs of a Man’s True Love

The first one. If a man has made up his mind to give up his position of a bachelor, then with all his appearance he will show his connection to the woman – that is a man in love psychology. Talking to her and to other people he would use the word “we” instead of the word “I”. This is that very subconscious positioning of oneself not as a person attached, but as a person treated as a part of the couple.

man feels love

The second one. Men are always honest to themselves: if a woman isn’t his men’s true love, he won’t spend much time on her. He is more likely spend his free time with in a company of his friends, spend that time doing exercises, fishing, or on any other hobbies, or even have two extra hours of sleep. Men hardly ever spend most part of their free time on the relationships, which, from their own point of view, have no future. So, in order to make a conclusion about the quality of the relationships, one should pay attention to the amount of time spent together.

The third one. These signs of men’s love are the following from the previous sign of a man in love. If a man prefers communication with the woman to the communication with his friend, the woman can calm down – she is being loved by that man. Giving priorities in communication can tell us even more than any words of love that may not be true. In this case a stable tendency is important. If a man once or twice preferred meeting with the woman to spending time with his first cousin twice removed or a neighbour, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he is strongly attached to her.

The fourth one. This sign seems to be of no great importance; however, it has its weight. If a man isn’t so light-minded in relation to a woman, that he definitely shares at least for a while  a toy of his with her. Of course, those toys of a grown-up men aren’t wooden horses or construction kits from his childhood. For our men toys are – almost all (including very sophisticated technical) devices, beginning from watches ending up with a PC and a car. They don’t like to share their favourite toys with strangers. They allow to use them only those, for whom they have real feelings.

The fifth one. It might seem strange but the first real quarrel also is a sign of men’s love. These are features of men’s psychology: they don’t waste their time, effort and nerves on a real quarrel with a woman, if they don’t plan to spend with her as much time as possible. With women who don’t arouse any special interest in them, men behave in another way. If trouble is brewing, they just turn their back and walk away, not letting the showdown take place. Of course, one can make sure of the relations being serious during a big row only in case this row ends up with making peace. In some cases the representatives of the stronger sex may provoke the quarrel themselves in order to split up with a woman.

cooking together

The sixth one. Probably the most prominent sign of man’s love is when he introduces his woman to his friends. Such a meeting far too often has much more prominence than even introducing his Miss Right to his parents. Friends are often a part of the man’s privy society and they represent a kind of union, in which he can let himself be the one he really is. And an invitation to such a hidden world not every woman can get. And still if she managed to get there, his friends’ opinions and support of his choice are very important for that man. Moreover, introducing his woman to his friends is a sign that the man trusts the woman herself.

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The seventh one. A very good sign of a true men’s love really living in a man’s heart is common activities being that man’s initiative. “Working together makes us closer” – said Matroskin the cat wisely. As a matter of fact, common activities make people closer. It is desirable that it would be working together, for example, going into the forest to pick up some mushrooms, harvesting fruit and vegetable, tidying up in a garage and so on. From the point of view of psychologists, only then when a man and a woman do something together for their household, the following happens: in man’s subconscious remains the information that this woman can help him not only to have a good time, but also to earn daily bread.

The eighth one. If a man starts not only to talk about their common future, but also takes some steps in that direction, then we can congratulate that woman. This is the main sign that the man is deeply and seriously in love. He has already made up his mind and chosen the family life, and now he begins to move forwards more actively. Psychologists always advise to judge a man according to his deeds. Since it’s much easier to utter words, than to do something particular or to take responsibilities of solving some existing problems.

To give courteously his hand to a woman, open a door for a lady or to pay for her at a restaurant – all these things aren’t that difficult. At the bottom, this is nothing else but good manners, to which one shouldn’t pay too much attention. But if a man helps you to move out from a rented flat, has begun to redecorate the new one, fixed the tap in an old one and so on – these are the deeds of a future husband.

Men's psychology in love

To sum it up, we have begun to understand the psychology of men in love more deeply and we already know several signs of our beloved treating us seriously. And we start to analyse his deeds from the point of view of these signs. Of course, there is no one hundred percent guarantee that the man has decisive intentions that will end up with getting married, even if there are all of the listed signs – anything can happen in our life. It may happen so that a man who is deeply in love with his fiancé, who has already made a proposal to her, changes his mind all of a sudden at the eleventh hour. It costs him too much, that very men’s freedom! That’s why there is no use in curtailing his freedom on purpose and speed the things up. Let your beloved come to the right decision himself.

This will give a woman a sense of freedom in marriage as well. Since there is nothing worse than realizing every day that your present-day spouse has built up the family being under pressure from aside. And being sure that your lover loves you from the bottom of his heart is a true, real happiness!