- Who should you lose your virginity to?
- Where will it go?
- Remember about contraception
- Posture for losing of virginity
- What else do you need to know?
- Possible problems
- Visit a gynecologist!
Many girls have the same question: Is the first time having sex painful? There are many horror stories and lies that society will tell. Depending on who you do it with and how can really change your first time. If you do not take the right precautions and steps, sex can end up feeling painful.
Of course, sex is deemed as an expression of love, but it does not have to be. Love and mind don’t have anything common. But sex is also a physiological act. Therefore, all nuances must be provided. Make efforts to leave only pleasant memories about your first time.
Who Should You Lose Your Virginity To?
Your first time should be with someone who you are comfortable with and who you know will being willing to take it slow during the times leading up to intercourse. Foreplay is one of the most important parts of sex. The vagina has its own sort of lubrication system that secretes moisture out of the vagina in order to get the woman “wet” so that the act of intercourse will not hurt. It is also recommended to use lube just in case.
Do not ever feel pressured to have sex even if all of your friends are doing it. But if you happen to find yourself in a situation where you do want to have sex, like a one night stand, just remember that these men do not know you that well and you do not know them that well so make sure to establish boundaries and communication.
Where Will it Go?
The place where you lose your virginity plays an important role in having happy memories of the event. The back seat of a car or toilet of a night club are the worst places. It sounds trivial, but it is better to lose your virginity in civilized conditions. You will have enough time for experiments.
You need a bedroom with a good bed and access to a bathroom. Protect yourselves from intruders: your parents’ bedroom is not the best variant. It is better to do this in room of hotel or a place where parents are not around and you don’t risk being interrupted. This will really help you to relax and enjoy yourself.
Girls think about contraception at the last minute: there are too many other fears. This question is very important, if you don’t want to find out that you will become mother after the first night.
Don’t trust a man in this case. Of course, it will be logical that your man will take care of your safety and bring a condom, but you should never rely on the other party to bring a condom. Instead you should be prepared yourself in order to make sure that you are fully protected.
Posture for Losing of Virginity
You should never feel pain when losing your virginity. These next positions will help to reduce or prevent any first time sex pain.
The “Jockey” Posture
The woman opens her legs widely, lies on abdomen and puts a small pillow under her hips. The man lies down on her hips and inserts his penis into her vagina. The Advantage of this posture is that the muscles of legs and vagina are not tired. The introduction of the penis is maximally free. The man will be able control each movement, which will reduce pain sensations.
The “Sideways” Posture
The woman lays down on any side and flexes her legs and knees. Man descends on knees closer and inserts his penis into her vagina. If it is not comfortable, it is possible to change the posture. The woman stretches her leg to the side. This posture is very good, because it has a lot of advantages. First, sexual partners see each other. Second, muscles of leg and perineum are completely relaxed and penis penetrates into vagina almost without obstacle. Therefore, it will not be painfull. Perhaps it will be only slightly unpleasant.
The “Missionary” Posture
Choose the missionary posture, if you think, that the first time will be unbearably painful. This posture is not noteworthy in terms of physiology. It is necessary to put a pillow under hips to make penetration easier.
This is the best posture in terms of psychology. The sexual partners have the possibility to keep visual contact. The woman feels senses of security at a subconscious level and the man can kiss her without hindrance. By the way, sexologists assert, that this posture is used the most for loss of virginity.
It is possible to use this posture for your first time if the man possesses self-control. Woman have to kneel near bed, lay on her breasts and open her legs widely. Man descends on knees from the back of the woman and inserts his penis into her vagina. Hymen is very stretched and torn easily. But the self-control of the man is very important because sharp movements can cause harm to a woman.
What Else Do You Need to Know?
The hymen is not much of an obstacle for the first time because it is only the thinnest septum covering the entrance into vagina. It covers entrance only partially. The rupture of the hymen causes only mild painful sensations.
Why do women complain about pain during the first time they have sex? Gynecologists assert, that reason of pain sensations of pain is the still extremely narrow entry into vagina. The emotional worry of a woman is another added factor of strong spasms of the vagina.
Girls fear strong pain and a big volume of blood. Everything is different in real life. A woman loses only several drops of blood. Blood doesn’t appear during the first time in some cases. This variant is usual too.
Sometimes blood excretes several days after the first time, this is completely normal as well. Of course, it is necessary to see a gynecologist, if you have strong bleeding.
It is not a good idea to have sex again after the first time. It is necessary to wait several days. The rupture of the hymen is not a catastrophic injury, because it is a physiological process. It is necessary to heal for three days. Patience will be compensated.
Sometimes, the first time gives problems. But there is no reason to worry. Such problems can be solved easily. It is necessary to know about possible dangers, so that sex will not cause negative emotions. The first time is the most important.
Vaginismus is a strong shrinking of the vagina’s muscles. Thus, the penis can not enter the vagina. There are two types of vaginismus: true and psychological. The true vaginismus is extremely rare: approximately 3% of all cases. It can be solved only by an experienced specialist. It is not a good idea to solve this problem by yourself. Especially, if it the first time you are having sex.
But, in most cases, it is possible to solve this problem by yourself. The man is the most important participant in solving this problem. Foreplay, lubricant and patience will solve the problem. The result will be positive only with a special person. Vaginismus is a subconscious reaction of a woman due to an attempt of deflowering with an unloved person.
Strong Pain During Sex
It is possible that the girl has hard extensible or thick hymen, if it is very painful at the moment of penis inserting into vagina. It is necessary to have sex several times for deprivation of virginity. It will be a good idea to visit a gynecologist, if the situation does not change after the fifth time, Doctor will remove hymen quickly and painlessly, using local anesthesia. You will be able have sex without any painful feelings.
The First Time without Blood and Pain
It was already mentioned, that sometimes the first time can be without blood and painful sensations. It may seem to anybody, that it is not a problem. But, sometimes girl must prove her innocence. Blood and pain are the best proofs of it.
It is very important to explain to a man, that it is her first time having sex. At first, the hymen can be very elastic and stretch without pain and blood for a long time: sometimes until birth of a child. Second, sometimes sports or hygienic tampons can be the reason of a hymen’s rupture.
Painful Sensations During Intimacy
Sometimes the second and the third sex acts are also accompanied by painfull feelings. Pain is not strong, but it is not pleasant. Why does it happen? The psychological constraint of a girl is the reason of such discomfort. As a result the walls of the vagina are contracting so strongly that the woman feels pain. By the way, sexologists assert, that such women have all chances for a bright spectrum of feelings during sex in the future as soon as they get rid of their psychological barriers.
Reasons for such constraint: psychological unreadiness for the beginning of sexual life and unwillingness to have sex with a particular man, in a particular time or place. A woman is very sensitive. It is difficult to anticipate, which reason may provoke psychological discomfort.
It is necessary to sort out this problem by yourself. Perhaps. you expect returning of parents or friends during sex. A hotel will be the best idea. Are you shy of your figure? Make light weaker and buy good-looking underwear. Are you afraid of your inexperience? Tell him about your apprehensions and he will soothe you rapidly. Visit a psychologist, if you didn’t solve the problem. Don’t be shy about it. A positive experience depends on your peace of mind.
Absence of Orgasm
A woman expects impressive sensations from the first night. It is the main reason to have sex. But if there is no orgasm in real life, it can become a tragedy for a man and woman.
But don’t be upset for this reason. Orgasm is reached only by a few very lucky ones during the first time. You must have sex for several months or even years to learn how to take pleasure from it. It doesn’t say anything bad with you or your man! Learn to take pleasure from the process and you will get an orgasm.
Visit a Gynecologist!
Visit a gynecologist before the beginning of your sexual life! Of course, this doctor scares even adult women. But you have to do it because of following reasons:
State of Health
Unfortunately, gynaecological diseases can be found even in little girls and adolescents that don’t have a sexual life. And believe me – if you try to lose your virginity having some inflammatory process, you will remember this night all life. It will not be pleasant feelings, but the strongest pain in your life. Therefore, it important to make sure that you are healthy and undergo treatment, if it is necessary.
Condition of Hymen
If the doctors detect at simple inspection that hymen is too thick, problems will arise at defloration. The doctor will advise you about the best postures and ways of defloration.
It is necessary discuss with a gynecologist all questions about contraception. Doctors will evaluate all nuances: your age, state of health and others. Then the doctor will choose an optimal plan for you.
Doctor must warn you also about radical change of menstrual cycle at the beginning of sexual life. At first, menstruation after sex will begin with approximately a week delay. So, don’t worry too much about this. It is necessary to take a pregnancy test, even if you properly protected yourself. As the saying goes: “God helps those who help themselves”.
By the way, a visit to a gynecologist even after the first intimacy will not be excessive. Of course, it does not mean, that you have to run immediately to hospital after sex. But, try to find some free time and go to a doctor in a day or two. Unless of course, you have bleeding or strong pain.
If this is the case, go to a doctor as fast as possible. Disclose any injuries during intimacy. It doesn’t happen too often, it can be only at rape. Visit a doctor if you forgot contraception because of passion. Gynecologist will help you in this situation.
The second, menstrual cycle grows approximately 20% shorter and much more stable than before. The duration of a menstruation also reduces. Periods become less profuse. The painful feelings become weaker and may disappear completely.
In conclusion, I would like to soothe girls who will only agonize over all details of adult life. Everything is not so scary as girlfriends say. Remember the main parts of success: health, time, place and your partner. You will have only pleasant memories, if you approach to this experience reasonably.