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Our society, as you know, includes both the stronger and softer sexes. They constantly come in contact with each other. We have to talk with men everywhere: in the street, at school, at work, at home and during personal meetings. It seems that there’s nothing special about it as we’re all people of the same society and we can all speak. But it’s not as easy as it may seem. Many girls, going out on a date, don’t know how to hold a conversation with the man and what topics for discussion to choose. The lack of such skills creates communication difficulties and prevents you from having further relationship. So, what are you to do? How can you gain the necessary skills for having conversations with men and find the right topics for discussion?
How to Speak with Men
Conversation with a man is very different form chatting with girls. Women can understand each other by the merest hint. Men are different. They see the world in another way than women and it can be much more difficult to speak to them than you thought. You need to learn some peculiarities of men’s speech perception to understand the right way of speaking with them.
First of all, you should remember that the men’s need of communication is lower than women’s. Conversation between man and woman shouldn’t be idle and too long. The man, having been tired of it, stops listening and then becomes lost in his own thoughts. But if the girl wants to ramble about something with the man, she should tell him that it’s just a chat. Thus, he can relax and won’t be trying to get a great depth of meaning when there isn’t any. In this case the man will hear the girl’s speaking as sweet twitter.
When there’s a serious talk, you should always remember the main aim of the conversation. Speaking with girls we can change topics for discussions very quickly and then return to the main one. Such a way of communication is rather difficult for our men. They try to keep in mind all the topics at once, find the logical connection between them and unite all the information. You can understand why it’s not easy.
How should you talk to the guy so that he understands you correctly? It’s necessary to frame short and clear phrases which are closely connected with the main topic of discussion. They should be understandable without hints and useless interjections. The man should get everything at once and not try to guess what you really want to say.
Girls, as a rule, can make a certain conclusion while discussing something with each other. Men think differently. First, they get the information, then build from it the logical chain and only then make a conclusion. That’s why foolish chatting bewilders them and makes them crazy. So, how should we talk with the man in order not to annoy them? It’s desirable that your speech will be meaningful and understandable. You shouldn’t change topics during the conversation as well.
Topics for Discussion
To speak with men in the right way, you need to know not only how to speak, but also what to speak about. What are young men interested in? Of course, they don’t like talking about new purchases, housework, modern magazines, relationship between girls and gossips about celebrities’ lives. Such important topics for us seem to be mere chatting to men. Men like chatting about sport, politics, cars and so on. To put it into a nutshell, we can say that they like something real and practical, something that can make them excited and give them an adrenaline boost.
But we – girls may know nothing about football, politics and cars! What are we to do then? Let’s think what else men like to speak about. Many of them enjoy discussing their own achievements. So, try to say something about it, of course, if you know something. If you don’t know anything about his achievements, learn to listen to the man attentively or at least pretend to do it. Men are fond of women who can listen to them with great enthusiasm.
Sometimes it can be quite difficult for a girl to start the conversation. First of all, you need to calm yourself down. Do you like him? So, go for it! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Think what you want to know about the man. Ask him about his job, hobbies and plans for the future. Here are some phrases to help you to start the conversation:
- You see, I’ve recently read in the Internet…
- I was listening to the news while preparing to leave home for my job (university), and they said …
- My brother told me…
- Do you know something about laptops? I have a problem with mine…
Having started the conversation in such a way, you do yourself justice and awake the man’s interest.
Topics You’d Better Avoid
Not to find yourself in awkward situations, you need to know what is unacceptable for discussion with men:
- You shouldn’t criticize yourself in the conversation with the man and tell him about the situation in which you went down in flames. You’re better off not to mention anything about your failures.
- By no means should you discuss other people’s failures and defects. Men have a really negative attitude towards such conversations and can change his opinion of the woman, thinking of her as a sly and envious woman.
- Never tell everything about yourself at once. You should be a riddle for the man.
- Don’t complain about your life difficulties or especially your health. It doesn’t arouse his interest in you.
- Don’t tell him about your ex-boyfriends. You wouldn’t be happy to listen about his girlfriends and details of his sexual life.
These are the main secrets of talking with men. In conclusion we want to give you some more advice.
- Start the conversation with the main information. Don’t try to prepare him for another topic. If you begin to speak in a roundabout way, he will lose his interest soon and stop listening to you.
- Thinking what to discuss with the man, you should choose only the topics which you know well. It’s important to be sure about what you’re going to say. The man should think of you as of a woman who has her own opinion and can make her own decision.
- Be logical and present more facts during the conversation with the man.
- Try to say little of such conditional phrases as: “could it be?”, “is it really so?” and so on. Avoid the usage of conjunctive mood (“I would like to know”, “I could wait”…). Men can hardly perceive a great number of such sentences.
- Be firm while talking. Men take it in their stride and on the contrary baby talk or very soft tone of the voice can irritate them.
That’s all for now. There’s nothing difficult about having conversations with men. But heed our advice, otherwise, you can be understood in the wrong way or misunderstood all together and your first date will be your last one.